In the introduction to this here Advent Calendar thingy, I alluded to a fear that needed combating. 'Fear' was not quite the right word, but it rhymed with cheer, so I rolled with it. More accurately it would be a sort of creative anxiety and I feel like it's related to watching too much stuff on Youtube. Each day I watch a few things from a variety of channels, from people fixing cars, discussing global topics, going for hikes, or sleeping in their vans. I've come to realise that these people are charismatic folk who for the most part are good at talking (although at least one Youtuber I watch uses only subtitles), and are capable of regularly churning out videos that are engaging to watch.

I've dabbled in these things myself but the bad habit of simply watching and absorbing content has left me not creating 'content', to the point of feeling anxious about it. When I was new to the internet, many moons ago, I was eager to have a balance of both enjoying and creating stuff online - a website such as this has been a primary outlet.

Furthermore, I don't like the term/practice of merely being a 'content creator' because by its very definition it seems to imply creating stuff for the sake of it, and for the somewhat narcissistic (and harmful to others) expectation of having other people watching and 'liking' your stuff. Youtube in this light, reeks of some sort of pyramid scheme where a few big channels benefit from the rest of society watching, absorbing, and wishing they were just like them. This whole perception instils yet more anxiety in me since I feel it's important to create things that can be beneficial to others, not just shallow entertainment, but perhaps inspirational or provide insights into self-improvement (something I think life is about), or seeing global matters from a different perspective.

That being said, I am pleased to see others are taking part in this Advent Calendar thingy, in their own ways, and perhaps also as a means of combating a creative block. Over on Freckleskies is a cheese-filled advent calendar for day one; I chucked at "'Tis the Season to be Nibbling!" My brother got my 'parents' a gin-filled calendar; this wouldn't have been my first choice for a pair of alcoholics (don't tell them I said that!), and my sister accidentally bought one too many calendars for her daughters, and so gave me one: It's the bulk-standard Cadbury's one, but I'm not complaining!